More Onion horoscope fics. Enjoy.

Write a short moment in time for each character based on their horoscope, as provided by The Onion.

( There’s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus )

Write a short moment in time for each character based on their horoscope, as provided by The Onion.

( The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud )